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| Ask The Experts |
I am the mother of two children, work full-time, manage my house, and do everything that everyone else has to do. Despite the fact that I’m tired all the time, I also feel like I never have time to enjoy my children. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Tired in Fair Oaks
Dear Tired in Fair Oaks,
I know what you mean. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I had children so that I could enjoy them, not to have them add to my To Do lists.
First of all, we have to stop trying to be perfect. Let’s face it, while our children are living at home, our house will never be clean enough, the laundry will never be done, and we’ll probably never look as good in a bathing suit as we always wanted. So rather than striving for perfection at everything all the time, let’s just do the best we can in the moment. While you’re at work, do the best you can, then let it go. When you’re with your children, be the best parent you can be, and forgive yourself if you slip.
If your children are old enough, incorporate them in the household chores. If they’re not, do as much as you can with them (ie. running errands, folding laundry while they’re coloring, making dinner while they’re playing). Also, you may rearrange your schedule so that you can get tasks done when they’re sleeping. I now grocery shop on Wednesday mornings at 5:30, in my pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt. It’s amazing how quickly I’m in and out of the store and how friendly everyone is.
Finally, if all else fails, make a play date for you and your children with no one else but yourselves. Let them lead the play. Do what they want to do, uninterrupted, for a couple hours. No phone calls. No wiping up counters. Just play.
We are the foundation for our children, their assurance that everything is safe in the world. The best thing we can give them is our time.
